Some big steps have taken place since the last update. In the last two months, we completed our home study, created our profile books, and become “active” with a couple agencies. What this means is that we are officially in the waiting stage, anticipating getting a call and hearing that a birth mom has selected us to raise her child. It could be soon. Or we could have a long wait ahead. It’s not ours to know.
What we do know is that God cares about adoption, and that there are many dear souls who care about adoption as well. Tangibly, we have seen that adoption matters in the following real life scenarios….
The Profile Book
In twenty short pages, we are meant to communicate to a dear birth mom the important things about what makes us, us. Based on the pictures and words in this short book, she will decide about moving forward with adoption and whether or not that will be with us as the intended parents. I love writing and we have loads of pictures from our first five years of marriage. I thought this would have been one of the fun parts, but as push came to shove, it was not going well. There are some gifts of organization and creativity that I feel lacking in. With so much seeming to depend on the outcome of this book, every time I sat down to make progress, it was like a brick wall. Freedom came when I asked for help. (For me, this is a major theme running throughout our adoption journey.)
I ran into a friend who offered to help with our adoption. It wasn’t an offer that felt like she was compelled or being polite or surface-level encouraging. The way she expressed her care for adoption and willingness to be available was so heart-felt that I really believed she would help in any way she could. As I struggled with the profile book, I called her and asked if she had any interest in helping in this way. It was a turning point. Not only does she love creating with photos, she had actually helped another friend create a profile book for their adoption. Her complete joy at doing this project made me feel no longer burdened. Her kindness and generosity is seen in the pages. Though I am tempted to post a picture of every page, I will refrain and just show a couple. It’s an amazing book that I feel really shares about who we are. And as you’re reading, our profile book could be in the hands of a woman preparing to make one of the biggest decisions of her life. Pray for her.
Win-win-win in Adoption Fundraising
As the profile book was in the making, I got a message from my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law. Yep. My husband’s sister’s husband’s sister. She and her husband had pursued adoption in the past, but were prevented by changes in laws/politics in the country from where they were hoping to adopt. In her journey of fundraising, she came across a brilliant organization that results in one of the best win-win-win scenarios I’ve ever heard of. This message from my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law was offering to host an event in honor of our adoption utilizing this organization. The Noonday Collection provides trunk shows of incredible pieces of jewelry (all ethically and sustainably created) made by women around the world with 20% of the proceeds going to the bringing home of an orphan.
Empowering women through artisan work + funding adoption + artistic jewelry. Win-win-win.
You can be a part of this event by clicking on the link below. Get some Christmas shopping done early. Buy yourself a little something and join in the camaraderie of women around the world working to support their families. There is no down side here. Click on the link and purchase by August 20th, and 20% will go toward the Agler Adoption!
And here’s a little pic of me with my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law, modeling some of the Noonday pieces.
Mothers who wait, and wait, and wait
For us, we are in the early stages of our adoption journey. We remain fairly upbeat and hopeful, especially with the rays of sunshine noted above. Beyond the bright lights of kind souls giving generously to us as we adopt, there is another, more heavy and sobering reminder that adoption matters and that orphans are to be pursued: Mothers who continue to wait and suffer and not lose hope. There are many of these mothers. Right now, I know of two.
As I walk into adoption, I’ve connected with a few friends also in this journey. With one who is also adopting domestically, we have developed a pattern of praying for each other and sending each other messages and sharing some burdens. A few months ago, her family had been selected by a birth mom and she just jumped in with both feet, attending doctors appointments and really investing in this woman. As can often happen with domestic adoption, the baby was born and the mom decided to parent the child. It’s a common reality, and a confusing one. Of course, a child is meant to be raised by their mother. And as we pray for orphans, this is something we pray for. And yet, there is a heart investment that happens before these babies are born that leaves a wound when not followed by the privilege of parenting. My friend continues to wait and to choose hope.
Even closer to home is the adoption my sister and her family have been walking through for the past two and half years. Their four and a half year old son, Sagesse, is from the Democratic Republic of Congo and is being prevented from being able to leave the country to come home. It seems like a million factors play into this obstacle, and the current situation is quite dire for this little boy. But life matters. His life is so important. And I don’t know what to do. We don’t know what to do. It hurts my heart. So I watch my sister walk this treacherous path. I see the tears and the fear, while she also continues to put energy into parenting her two here with joy and intention. And I see the lengths she is willing to go to and the steps she considers to pursue her son in Congo. For all the beauty and joy adoption has the potential to bring, adoption is a result of inherent brokenness with the potential to devastate. As I see my sister and brother-in-law stay in this, stay invested, and remain in the waiting, I see a reflection of deep care for orphans and bringing the lonely into family that God has, not only for the orphans of this world, but for all of us who have been or are even now, spiritually alone. Please, pray with us for this boy to come home.
Adoption: in all ways, putting the solitary in a home.